A strong bond with a dog is not only a very pleasant feeling, comparable to butterflies in the stomach of people in love. It is also the basis for stress-free upbringing, effective training and harmonious everyday life. Building a bond with a dog is both easy and difficult - in our guide you will learn why and what mistakes you should avoid to create a dog-human dream team.
Bonding with a dog: each of us can do it
Building a good relationship with your pet does not require any special skills, completing difficult studies or passing difficult exams. This is the good news. Each of us has the potential to sharpen our sense of observation and empathize with a dog's needs - that is, to descend to the dog's level and look at life from its perspective. We want to reassure anyone who gets a nervous rash and unpleasant chills just thinking about it.
Because in fact, our furry friends need very little to be happy:
Food – who among us doesn't like to overeat?
Gizians – caresses are so pleasant!
Washing – a warm stove, a quiet corner…
Movement – it will be useful for us too!
Routine – no different than with children.
Empathy – even when our nerves give way.
Problems building a relationship with a dog
The challenge in building a bond with your pet is most often prosaic obstacles: lack of time, willingness, consistency or patience. Nothing you can't work on. Think about the fact that it is your will that your pet comes to your home and has the right to be happy. With proper organization and self-control, you will be able to overcome such difficulties without any problems. If you are constantly short of time, make a list of priorities and move unimportant things to the background. By setting (even just in your head) a daily schedule with a fixed time for dog meals, walks, play and petting, you will create a structure that will help both you and your dog. You will quickly realize that the time spent with your pet will not be just one of the points in your overloaded daily schedule, but relaxation and pleasure, because your bond will become stronger and stronger, and the agreement is getting better. If you have trouble staying patient, take a deep breath after each undesirable behavior of your dog and remember that by shouting or getting angry you achieve exactly the opposite result: the dog loses interest and respect. By giving vent to your negative emotions, you do not show the sovereignty and balance that a dog expects from a pack leader.
Mistakes on the way to strengthening your relationship with your dog
Sometimes, however, the problems are of a different nature, less prosaic and more psychological. In the vast majority of cases, however, the problem lies not with the dog, but with the owner.
Here are the most common mistakes that people make:
Too rigid ideas about a dog: it should be nice towards people and other animals, not pull on the leash, stay politely at home and come when called without a murmur. That's a lot of expectations at once, which no dog can meet right away, especially if you don't communicate it clearly.
You are confusing bonding with upbringing and training: These are three different things that condition each other. Training is learning to follow commands such as "sit", "stay", etc. - a strict tone or punishment is not needed here. Upbringing establishes rules of good behavior on a daily basis, which you should consistently but calmly enforce. Only when you become legible to the dog will it be possible to build a bond.
Miscommunication: While humans communicate primarily verbally, dogs do so through body language. By flooding the dog with a torrent of words or an avalanche of commands, you create situations that are incomprehensible to him, and this is an ideal breeding ground for undesirable behavior.
Insecurity: When your dog feels uncomfortable around (some) people or other companions and you don't respond to his signs, his trust in you suffers. He expects you to protect him from unpleasant situations, e.g. by avoiding the touch of strange hands or being surrounded by other dogs.
One-sided contact: it doesn't matter whether the dog constantly requires your attention, counting on treats or caresses, or whether you constantly "harass" it by petting it and giving it treats. Each of you needs peace, and food is not suitable for building relationships.
Ignoring dog glances: If you don't notice the glances your dog gives you from time to time while walking, you don't appreciate the attention he gives you despite the attractive surroundings. Permanently unrequited eye contact weakens the bond with the dog, which over time stops looking at you and only minds its own business.
The basis of a happy relationship with your dog
It is easiest to build a bond with a puppy that has been properly socialized and has not had any negative experiences. The foundation for a dog's happy life is the first 16 weeks of its life, which will determine its further development. After the first two weeks of life, i.e. the newborn phase, there is a stage of dog socialization, which lasts from the third to the seventh week of life. During this time, the dog learns relationships with its siblings and receives a portion of upbringing from its mother. The breeder takes the puppies in his arms, strokes them and checks the condition of their eyes, ears, paws and teeth, teaches them contact with humans and resistance to stress, which each puppy initially feels. Both the warmth and safety of maternal care and the pleasure of human contact allow the dog to properly adapt to life.
How to build a bond with your puppy
From the 7th to the 12th week of a dog's existence, the stage of socialization with humans occurs. At this time, the puppy learns the feeling of fear, so in this phase of development it must be treated gently and protected from injuries, because once it experiences severe fear or pain, the dog will become excessively timid, distrustful and not resistant to stress. During this period, he should be allowed to gain as many positive experiences as possible in different places and with many people. Such people include a veterinarian who, instead of conducting an unpleasant examination, will only pet the animal and give it a treat. A puppy at this age doesn't have to follow commands and walk perfectly on a leash, so don't put any pressure on him.
Clear boundaries are the basis of a well-coordinated team
From the 12th to the 16th week of life, the stage of establishing a place in the group takes place - this is the time when your dog should learn basic commands and the rules of good manners. Setting clear boundaries - just like with children - does not overwhelm the animal and does not suppress its needs, but on the contrary. Consistent behavior will allow him to find his place in the pack, teaches respect for household members and relaxes him, because a dog growing up in a stable environment does not feel compelled to take responsibility for his "pack". Puppies and young dogs are easiest to bond with by devoting enough time and attention to them, ensuring their safety, cultivating rituals and setting clear boundaries.
Building a bond with an adopted dog
There is a huge difference in building a good relationship with a puppy from responsible breeding and a dog that came to you as an adult. “Second-hand” pets have often experienced pain, fear or neglect, which has weakened their trust in people – or lost it completely. Your first task will be to find a way to establish a bond with a dog that came to you with a lot of negative experiences. This phase of getting to know each other may be long and the road to trust may be bumpy, but if you show patience, consistency and empathy, your efforts will be rewarded. Of course, not every adopted dog is traumatized. A huge number of pets that get a chance for a new home as adults have not experienced any negative experiences. But coming to an unknown family,
Good advice for starting a relationship
Adopted dogs often need special treatment because they are not as resistant to stress as well-groomed puppies who have received proper socialization.
In order to make a "good impression" on your new family member from the very beginning of your friendship and prove that you understand his needs, you should take the following rules to heart:
don't look the dog straight in the eye,
only approach him from the side,
don't lean over him, but squat down,
speak in a calm voice,
move slowly, without sudden movements.
10 rules to strengthen your bond with your dog
To build a bond with your dog, you just need to consistently follow 10 rules. Some of them are easier to implement, others less so, but basically good intentions and the ability to learn from mistakes are enough. Remember that if your methods do not work for a long time and the dog does not change any of its behavior - which you do not want - you need to work on communication. Your pet clearly doesn't understand what you expect from him. If, despite your best efforts, some things do not change, seek advice from a trainer. Sometimes it is enough to change just one small element in your behavior to reach the dog - an outsider, emotionally uninvolved from a distance, will notice communication shortcomings more quickly than you, who are directly affected by the problem.
Shared experiences strengthen the bond
You know the saying, “Suffering shared is half suffering, and joy divided is double joy”? This is true both among us and in the relationships between people and animals. The positive moments you experience with your dog strengthen your team, so instead of choosing the same known route for daily walks, make sure to diversify it. Take your dog to the forest, go on a trip to the mountains, go to a nearby lake - new places are a source of exciting smells and pleasant experiences. You can enjoy the charming view and your dog will delight in inhaling unknown scents. You can make such trips more interesting with small tasks, especially if your dog is so excited about new smells that he stops paying attention to you.
Carefree fun fosters friendship
Most dogs have a whole basket full of various toys - for biting, fetching or catching on the fly. Owners often try to tire the dog by monotonously throwing him a ball - but this has nothing to do with spontaneous madness between the two of them. Try to forget about "helps" and engage in a carefree game of tag, hide and seek in tall grass or "tug of war", using, for example, a leash or a randomly found stick. Spontaneous racing, rolling or limping downhill make toys unnecessary, and physical closeness with your pet will be a source of great joy for both parties and a completely natural way to strengthen the bond with your dog. During such madness, you discover each other's limits and get to know each other better.
Let your dog be proud of himself
The effort put into completing a task tastes much better if it ends in success, even only partial success. Constantly striving for a goal without achieving it only frustrates and discourages you. When training with your dog, remember to end each stage of training on a positive note. Even if the dog has not mastered the command or does not fully understand your intentions, at the very end of the daily training, choose an exercise that the dog performs with bravado and willingness, praising him heavily for it. This way, the pet will remember the training positively and will be happy to come back to it, feeling satisfied that it has overcome challenges, learned something new and made the owner happy.
A common language is the basis of a successful relationship
A dog, like no other animal, can closely observe a person and draw conclusions from his behavior. That's why so often our pets raise us, and not the other way around. An innocently tilted head, buttery eyes, a sharp nose or a pleading gesture with the paws usually end in success and the animal achieves its goal, which is a beloved treat, a place on the couch or an additional portion of caresses. Unfortunately, we often do not understand or notice the subtler signs typical of the body language used by our dogs, and this is crucial for building stable relationships between us and animals. Your dog can recognize how you are feeling based on your smell, breathing, voice volume and body posture. Repay him by mastering his "language" as well. Clear communication is the basis that will strengthen your bonds: the dog will feel understood and fulfilled, and you will feel proud of yourself for being able to interpret dog speech. Gestures, an upright posture and calm movements are more clear to the dog than words.
Keep your dog safe
If your dog doesn't feel like he can rely on you in situations where he feels uncomfortable, he will try to figure things out on his own, which not only often leads to an escalation of the conflict, but also undermines his trust in you. Be a rock for your pet and protect him from unpleasant situations - no matter if it's a pushy person trying to pet the dog at all costs, a child pulling his tail or a dog looking for a tease. A sovereign response on your part - for example, covering the dog with your body - will allow him to relax and strengthen his confidence in your abilities as a pack leader. If your dog is afraid of an object, e.g. a garbage container, show him - by walking confidently to the container and opening and then closing the flap quietly - that you are facing the "danger" and disarming the opponent.
Make sure you have structure and clear rules
Dogs - just like children - need a set of rules that they can stick to - this creates a sense of security and facilitates communication with humans. By giving an animal too much freedom, you force it to make a whole series of decisions that are beyond it. This increases confusion and frustration because your pet does not know where you are going or what you expect from him. When enforcing your rules of behavior, make sure that the commands you give match your body language. By calling your dog to you and at the same time stamping your feet in anger, you send contradictory signals, which is not conducive to harmonious communication. Also, fixed times for meals, walks, fur care, play and rest, as well as cultivating small, mutually pleasant rituals can permanently strengthen your bond. It may be e.g. an extra dose of caresses before going to bed or a visit to a nice neighbor on the way home. Such a routine is not boring for the dog, but gives it a sense of security and confidence that it is in good hands.
A portion of caresses
Stroking, rubbing or massaging are very pleasant activities - both for the dog and its owner. Scientific research has proven that both we and animals produce increased amounts of oxytocin, the happiness hormone, during close contact. Make sure you give your dog a daily dose of caresses, but avoid "terror" from the dog who persistently demands to be stroked. Physical contact - just like communicating without words - can greatly strengthen your bond with your dog.
Through the stomach to the heart
There is a lot of truth in the saying that the best way to get to a dog's heart is through its stomach, because most dogs have a sweet tooth for treats and will do almost anything for their favorite treat. This is an advantage and a disadvantage at the same time. The good side of a dog's appetite for delicacies is easier training and more effective upbringing - the dog knows that cooperation with a human will bring benefits to it, because it will be rewarded for a job well done and the desired behavior. However, the other side of the coin is dogs' calculation, which often comes to the fore when culinary rewards are used incorrectly: there are dogs that will not obey any command without a treat. Dogs with a sweet tooth often give "love" to a random person who is currently chewing something - if it happened to you, If your dog, while walking, stares hypnotized at a stranger with a sandwich or kebab in his hand, not responding to your calls, you should work on your bond. It is important that you do not reward your dog with a treat every time, but also use verbal praise, social praise (by touch) or favorite toys.
Be patient
Patience - apart from consistency - is the most important rule when dealing with pets. Particularly lively people find it difficult to stay calm if the training, despite many repetitions, does not work out as they would like. Remember, however, that any outbursts of anger or even suppressed impatience will distance you from your goal, because the dog becomes nervous and loses concentration. First of all, however, its trust decreases, because the owner's loss of balance - or negative emotions whose causes the animal does not understand - is a sign of weakness for him, and who has ever seen a weak guide?
Balance between rest and activity
Some dogs cannot complain about boredom and loneliness at all, because their owners provide them with a program similar to the daily schedule of many children. A visit to the hairdresser on Monday, obedience training at a dog school twice a week, an agility course on Tuesdays, a dog dance on Wednesdays, a visit to a physiotherapist on Thursdays, and canicross on Fridays. Weekends aren't meant for lying on the couch either - on your free days you can just rock out. Often, there are also regular shopping trips, during which the dog is waiting for you in front of the store or in the trunk, visits to friends where you also take him, or other errands where he accompanies you. Such a busy schedule can make a dog, who on average sleeps 12 to 14 hours a day, feel restless and stressed. This will increase his concentration and motivation, needed in training,
Pay close attention to your furry friend's well-being so that the bar is not set too high for him. Remember the phases of calm and rest that your dog needs every day.
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